Common Delusions in Dementia and How to Respond (Therapist Experience)
Does your loved one blame you for things that you didn't do or believe things that clearly aren't true?
Then it's possible that you're dealing with delusions. Delusions like memory loss, can be a symptoms of dementia.
Delusions are fixed beliefs that aren't based on evidence or facts.
No matter how clearly untrue or impossible it is, someone with a delusion with hold on to it for dear life.
If this is something you're struggling with, you have probably already seen that doing the obvious thing of telling them how untrue what they are saying doesn't work.
I'm going to share with you the most common delusions I've seen in 1000s of dementia patients and how you can best respond to it.
Top 3 Most Common Delusions
So, what are the most common types of delusions ?
The top three I've seen are as follows:
Someone (probably you) is stealing from them
Someone is watching them or spying on them
Their Spouse is having an affair
3 Tips to Best Respond to Delusions (+ Bonus Tip)
Tip 1 :Hear them out.
I've found that when I sit there and listen to my folks for a few minutes without saying much back they tend to calm down a lot.
Interrupting or telling them they are wrong in my experience will only make them angrier and more determined to prove to you their world view.
For example, if your loved one is accusing you of stealing their wallet, listening to them for a few minutes will generally help them calm down the fastest.
Nodding your head and not saying anything tends to be a very effective way to de escalate them.
Tip 2: Be in their Reality
Again, I know VERY counterintuitive. If you are on their side, taking care of it or even simply not questioning their reality, it'll be much easier/faster for them to calm down.
It will also be easier for you to find an opening in distracting them.
This can be especially difficult if your loved one's delusion is that you're cheating on them or that you stole from them.
I understand the natural response is to defend yourself but again, telling them that you'll fix it or leaving them to calm down is usually the best move.
Going back to the wallet example, what you can do is say "I'm sorry you don't have your wallet. Would you like me to help you find it?"
If they refuse your help and double down on you taking it repeat that you are sorry they don't have their wallet and that it must be difficult to be without it.
If that doesn't work, give them some space to cool down. It could mean you leaving the house, the room or going to the other side of the room if they can't be left alone.
Tip 3: Distract Them
When your loved one has calmed down a little bit, look for an opening to offer an activity, ask for help with a task or simply giving them space to cool off.
It could be helping you with a chore, doing a puzzle or listening to their favorite music, getting a treat or simply telling them that you'll leave them alone.
Bonus Tip 4 Take Care of Yourself
The biggest pitfall of all in caregiving is thinking you need a special time to take care of yourself.
Truth be told, doing something to take care of you in the moments is very important and simple to do.
Once your loved one is occupied on an activity or with another person, take some time to listen to a song that makes you feel better, take a walk or take some time to vent to people that understand to get it off your chest.
Conclusion
I hope this gives you a clear idea of that delusions are, what they look like and how to best respond.
The ways are can respond are listening, being in their reality and distracting them as well as how you can take care of yourself while you take care of them.
If you want more tips and strategies grab a free copy of the dementia success guide here.
Share in the comments your experiences, any questions and or if you try these, what you've found to be the most helpful.